/bant/ - International Random

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Respected Sir/Madam, Warm IT Greetings from Digital Transformation Hub!

I am Deepak "Dave" Patel (birthname: Venkataramananarayananakrishnan), your Certified Cloud Whisperer™ and DevOps Sadhu, here to enlighten you about our ultra-modern cloud optimization strategies (as approved by my manager's brother-in-law).

Our revolutionary approach combines cutting-edge Western technology with traditional Indian jugaad:

Auto-scaling achieved via 10 interns refreshing browsers

Multi-region deployment = one server in Mumbai, one in cousin's Bangalore garage

Disaster recovery handled by astrologer-approved deployment timings

Why waste money on:
🔹 Load balancers when we can balance workloads on our heads like village water carriers?
🔹 AWS when Arun's Wireless Shack (local cybercafe) offers 90% discount?

Security Features:

Two-factor authentication (password + "pls confirm" WhatsApp message)

Encryption (*RSA 2048-bit + "kindly do not share" email footer*)

Special Cloud Offer:
For limited time only, get "Full Stack Support" - our team will stack all servers physically to save cloud costs!

Expecting your favorable reply,
~Dave "The Cloud Baba" Patel
(*Oracle Certified Professional + 17 Udemy courses + Paid in exposure & metro cards*)

P.S. Critical bugs will be resolved after cricket match highlights. 🏏
P.P.S. Pls to kindly adjust and cooperate. 🙏